NLP: Accessing and Using Positive Internal Resources

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0.0 Introduction
0.15 We all have the resources to deal with what life throws our way
0.50 The power of redirecting negative thinking
1.08 Dealing with negative feelings
1.52 EXAMPLE – Sport – NLP tip for golf improvement
2.36 NLP tip for dealing with other people
2.54 EXAMPLE – clinical – NLP and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
3.22 The power of accessing positive resources gained from negative life experience

Have you ever felt quite down in the dumps and felt there was nothing you could really do to out come a situation? I think we all have, but there is something we can do. Hi, I’m Alan Patching.

An NLP principle that I think is one of the most important of all is that:

we all have the resources within us to deal with any situation with which we are faced.

And this is a very important point indeed when we are feeling down.

When things are getting a bit tough, we tend to get caught up in the negativity of it all, all our thinking becomes negative and behaviour and feelings become negative and we talk ourselves into a bigger and bigger slump.

It’s important in these times in our life to just be aware of what’s happened and to interrupt that thought pattern. And sometimes the best way to interrupt it is just, not trying to stop it completely, but try and redirect it.

If you try and push an oak tree over, you’re not going to win, it’s going to be a difficult battle. But if you’re like the bamboo and just sort of bend with it and move it around, then flexibility of behaviour is once again available.

So when we have the negative feeling, rather than say “I’m going to stop the feeling, stop the thought” which hardly ever works, it’s better to say “yes, well that’s the thought I’d just had now, but there is an alternative, there is another side to that. So, I’m feeling bad and everything looks really glum and no body likes me, but I remember, many, many times where I have had fantastic friends for a really long period of time.”

So, rather than try and stop the thinking, which hardly ever works, we just look inside for experiences which are contrary to the thinking we are having at the moment. So if we are having negative thinking at the moment, we just go with that and say “Yeah, well, that may be the way I am now, but there’s been plenty of occasions in my life, when I felt this way which was much better.”

Playing golf, having a lousy game, the balls are going everywhere, the wrong way, you can get tied up in the moment if you like, and that will just create anger and negative thinking and worse behaviour which creates more negative thinking and so it goes. But if we can just say, “that was the lousiest shot, that was really terrible, I’m not hitting it well today at all, but you know, I know I can because just three or four weeks ago I had one of my best scores yet, I was hitting it sweetly and I feel really good.” And by relating it or deflecting the current negative thinking back to a positive experience we get in touch with those positive resources from that previous good game of golf and we bring those into the present moment and things start to improve.

It’s the same in our dealings with people. We feel we’ve got a bad relationship with someone, we refer it back to some changes we made when we had difficulty with someone else and then things turned for the better, and all of a sudden now we are feeling better. We behave more positively towards that person and we get a better response.

Even in clinic situations I’ve had people who’ve suffered post traumatic stress disorder and they tend to focus on reliving the negativity of the experience. It’s really, really important, for those people, for me to bring their attention to the great resources they got from that experience. The fact they survived it. The fact they know they’ll never get caught in that experience again. And, even if they did they’d know exactly what to do about it.

Getting them in touch with the positive strength and resources they gained in the negative experience can be an important part of changing their way of thinking.

I’d encourage you, anytime, like all of us, if you are having a bit of a downer, don’t try and fight the thought. Just put other thoughts in balance of it. Just say, “yes, I am feeling this way at the moment, but that reminds me of a time in a similar circumstance where things went right’, and get some positives to balance the negatives and you will eventually start to get in touch with some of those resources and you will learn too, that all of us have all the positive resources within us to do what we need to do at any time.

Give it a go, I’m sure you’ll enjoy the results in both life and business.

I’m Alan Patching, and I look forward to seeing you in a future post really soon!

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